A Conversation In The Rain
by Sterwolf59
Summary: It's funny how the past holds the secrets that are changing today one piece at a time. As Ryan and Neil's 'wedding' draws closer Paul remembers one night that will always be more then just a conversation in the rain. -Celtic Thunder sequeal to "Shamrock Bottom"... rated M for language-
1. Part 1

_**(A new concept I'm adding to my writing is anything inside of slashes / / (- like so) means its being sung. I hope that makes sense, and this chapter is dedicated to hookedonwords who is a huge inspiration to me as a writer. :D So this story is Paul's turn so this is totaly from his point of view. You will find out that Emmett wasn't the only one to get drunk and kiss somebody he probably shouldn't have, the only difference is that, Paul kissed the person he should be with.)**_

The lights burn on me' skin as I stood on stage. This was me' one true home, always has been, a young 14-year old boy was nervous as he stayed focus on the music as he stood center stage. Our fearless scottish leader and the surfer were harmonizing perfectly as me' desperado counter-part was harmonizing with me. I love this song it was a song I had been singing since I was a wee lad, and the light dancing we had te' do was making me like it more. I sang each word faultless and heartfelt as I hoped I got the message across.  
/Let me tell you that I love you and I think about you all the time./ We all sang together, I with this misfit band of singers. The thrill of the thunderous applause at the end of the song sent a wave of adrenaline around me' body. We all signed off from the aduience in our own ways and soon we were all back stage.  
"Great job Damo." I clasped me' hands on the young boys shoulder. Feeling a stange sense of big brotherhood toward him.  
"Thank ye' Paul." Damo smiled up at me with his heavy accent that was only ampilphied by his braces.  
"Paul! Ye' comin' out for drinks with us?" Keith said walking up te' Damo and I.  
"Love te', but what about poor little damo?"  
"He can hang out with us, he just can't drink. Is that okay Damo?" Keith turned toward the young boy and I noticed Ryan and George were missing. Where did they go? The concert just ended so where in the blazing hell below could they have gone in such a short time? "Sure, sounds fun watching ye' guys get hammered." He laughed and I playfully threw me' arm around his neck and began a search for the last members of our little group. A surge of excitement and adrenaline flowed through each of our veins and after like half-an-hour Damo, Keith and I finaly found George.  
"Hey, where did ye' go?and where's Ryan?" I was the first one te' speak up.  
"Ryan was tired so I took him back te' the hotel. Are we still going for drinks tonight?"  
"Sounds grand te' me." I shrugged and George looked down at Damo.  
"Ye' coming with us?"  
"I like te' if thats all right."  
"I think we can deal with ye' for a little while." I smirked at George's joke and Damo smiled as Keith laughed lightly. If I had known what the night was gonna bring te' me I don't know if I would have gone with them.  
"Uh...Paul?" I was stopped by a meek voice as we were about te' leave the theater. I turned te' see one of our band members, who was the lead guitarist.  
"Oh, hi. It's...hammer right? No, it's Nail?" the name of the guitarist before mehad escaped me completely and totaly.  
"It's Neil." His voice was meek as a smile came te' his face bacause of my forgetfullness.  
"Neil, thats right, sorry 'bout that. Anyway, whats up?" I released Damo from underneath me' arm and he went ahead te' join the group that was almost te' our ride.  
"Ummm... I was just wondering if ye' knew where Ryan was? I just need te' tell him something, it's really important." Seriousness coated his eyes and I could tell that it was actualy important. I knew Neil and Ryan had spent a lot of time together recently, so what could Neil have te' tell him? Curiousity was gonna eat at me all night if I didnt find out.  
"He went back te' the hotel, but he might come back out with us."  
"Oh, okay...thanks." Neil looked dissapointed.  
"Hey, why don't ye' come with us ye' might see him there?"  
"No, it's alright I go te' the hotel and see if I can catch him before-hand thanks for the invite though..." He trailed off as he walked past me te' his seprate car.  
"Okay." I whispered as he was out of ear shot. something shook me' shoulder violently and I was pulled from the memory, and soon I realized I was in the theater and that I was in a taxi-cab with Ryan.  
"Com'on we're here." Ryan nuddged again as he got out of the cab.  
"Where's here again?" I asked as I followed him te' the front of the store we were dropped off.  
"Well ye' forgot ye' tux back in the states so we're getting ye' a new one and I still have te' get mine as well." Ryan opened the door and stepped through and I followed him only a few steps behind.  
"Huh, I'm sure Neil would be delighted te' hear that. Ye' know, since the wedding is in four days." I smiled as Ryan relized the amount of blackmail material he just gave me.  
"Paul, please don't." He begged and I couldn't help but laugh deeply.  
"Don't worry, Ryan, I won't ruined ye'r wedding day. Maybe ye'r honeymoon, but I'll let ye' guys get married first." I smiled and Ryan calmed down as he realized the joke. The next couple hours we spent getting fitted for our suits, and even though I made small talk and laughed at Ryan's jokes I wasn't really in the modern day I was letting me' mind race back te' the night when I realized the love of me' life.  
We were sitting in a corner booth of the bar. Keith sat next te' me blocking me into the corner while George was sitting next te' Damo who was sitting across from me. I stared at the beer in me' hand as George and Keith laughed at something they found funny. Damo was just as bored as I was, except his eyes were slowly getting heavier and soon he was sleeping on his folded arms, his empty glass of soda was pressed away from him.  
"We probably should have let him come." I chuckled as I ruffled little Damo's hair and Keith and George looked over.  
"Poor kid." George said with a light chuckle.  
"I'll take him back te' the hotel, then come back, okay?" Keith said getting out of our table.  
"I could take him back if ye' want?" I offered, but Keith shook his head.  
"Nah, it's alright I got him." George got out of the booth and Keith slowly pulled Damo out bearly pulling him to an awaken state. Damo fell right back asleep as Keith lifted him into his arms the way a father would carry a child te' bed. "The hotel is within walking distance so when we're drunk we can just walk, so I'll take the car back now." Keith said and then he made his way out of the bar with the sleeping 14-year old in his arms.  
"Oy, whats got ye' so quiet?" George asked as he sat back down and I lightly took a sip from me' glass.  
"Just thinkin' really." I said never meeting his eyes.  
"Woman troubles?"  
"Of sorts, I guess."  
"What's the problem?"  
"Married with a little girl, and the husband would never even kinda consider leaving..." I said me' voice faultering. Nothing I told him was a lie, but I was definitly leaving some parts of the story out.  
"Do ye' truely think ye'r in love?"  
"Yes."  
"Then...go for it." I was shocked that that was the advice George was giving me.  
"Seriously?" I didn't completely believe he had actualy said to go for it.  
"Of course. true love can't be stopped no matter what else is in the way even a ring can't stop true love."  
"I pretty sure she is madly in love with him though.."  
"Oh I'm sorry." We sat in silence for a few moments then I downed the rest of me' drink.  
"I think I'm just gonna go."I said looking at the now empty glass.  
"Are ye' sure?" George looked concerned.  
"Yeah, I'm sure. Ye' better stay here for when Keith comes back." I got up but just then Keith decided te' walk through the door and noticed I was about te' leave.  
"No. Ye'r not leaving just yet." He playfully pushed me' shoulder and forced me back into the booth. "I just got back from playing parent so now I want te' be a drunk young man." He chugged his lukewarm beer that he had left there and I chuckled and decieded te' stay much te' Keith's delight. A few hours passed us by and as Keith fell deeper and deeper into a drunken stupor George and I only stayed buzzed because neither of us felt like getting truely wasted.  
"She's tooootalllllly checking meeee out." Keith was rocking back and forth in his seat as he noticed the blonde from across the bar that was actualy checking him out. "Should I gooooo say hiiii?" Keith looked over at me and I couldn't help but laugh as I nodded.  
"Yeah, go for it, ye' hot stud."  
"I think I will." He said staggering te' his feet and set of for across the bar.  
"He is totaly wrecked." George snickered at me' comment as we watched him hit on the young girl that couldn't be older then him.  
"Hey, that one over there seems te' find ye' interesting." George said lightly gesturing past me and I turned te' see an older woman about her thirties with long dark brown hair still waering a lawyer's uniform.  
"Not me' type." I said looking back at the new drink I aquired and sip a little bit off the top as I glanced over at the blonde surfer who seemed te' be making a fool out of himself.  
"No?" George asked with a quizzical look in his eye.  
"A little te' much hair." I chuckled at the irony of me' sentence.  
"Ye' like shorter hair?"  
"Yeah, doesn't get in the way as much, same reason why I keep mine gelled up." I smiled up at the scot before me as he laughed at the new information he had learned.  
"I still think ye' should go talk te' her." I took another glance at her and figured another try might just work. Maybe this woman could help me get over the one person I couldn't have. I smiled at George then took a long cold drink and set off toward the mystery woman.  
"Ye' know tequlia tastes a lot better then whiskey." I said as I walked up next te' her noticing the smell of whiskey on his breath.  
"Really? I don't think I've ever tried it." She said with a smile as she clearly got what I was trying te' do.  
"Then how about I buy ye' one and let ye' try ye'r self?" I smiled and she nodded shyly. I ordered the drinks and made small talk and finally she picked up on the fact I didn't want te' be here.  
"Ye'r not interested in me are ye'?" I looked up at her realizing I wasn't even paying full attention te' her.  
"What makes ye' say that?"  
"Because I don't even know ye'r name and ye' don't want te' know mine." "I'm sorry...there's just someone else who I-"  
"Can't have?" She completed me' statement, and I gave her a shocked look. "I know how that is and I understand and admire ye' for trying." She smiled at me with a sweet smile and I didn't feel bad for not paying attention te' her. "Give me ye'r hand." I did as I was told and she pulled out a pen from her pocket and started writing on me' hand. "If ye' ever need te' talk te' someone who doesn't know ye' call this number and ask for Miranda. I'll answer eventually."  
"Thank ye'." I said and she nodded with a happy smile. "Miranda's a very pretty name, I'm Paul."  
"I know." She said taking another drink of her almost empty glass.  
"Ye' know? How?"  
"I was at ye'r concert a couple hours ago." She smiled and I couldn't help smile back.  
"Why are ye' still in ye'r work uniform?" I asked with a crooked smile.  
"How did ye' know that this is me' work uniform?" She asked a little preplexed.  
"I'm very observant."  
"I had te' go right after work then I wanted te' get a drink after words." We said our good byes and I made me' return te' the table that had a very drunk surfer and a stern looking scottish man sitting inside.  
"Did'ja get her number?" Keith asked as he downed another shot.  
"I did, did ye' get the blonde's?"  
"Nah, she wasn't as innnnnnnnto me as I ttttttttthought." I laughed and sat next te' George who seemed a little disapointed.  
"What's wrong with ye'?" I asked him as Keith laied his head on the table for a second.  
"oh, it's nothing just thinking is all." He gave me a sympathetic smile and I could tell he was lying through his teeth.  
"Hey, do ye' guys ever think I will find someone?" Keith pulled his head up from the table as he spoke and his eyes looked a lite shade of pink as if he were about te' cry.  
"Of course, Keith. Ye' are a good looking smart guy." I said lightly rested me' hand on his shoulder and he nodded very slowly.  
"Ye' just need te' find the right person." George backed me up as he seemed te' shake his dissapointed expression.  
"Where am I supposed te' find this person?" His eyes scanned the crowd but by the look in his eyes ye' knew he wasn't expecting te' find anybody.  
"They might be right in front of ye', or maybe ye' haven't met them yet. When the time comes you'll know, I promise." I smiled at him, and then like a cold breeze, I felt me' spine shiver and coil and I turned te' look around the bar. Suddenly I didn't want te' be here, and I could feel all me' secrets fighting for control as I fought back tears as me' own words rand through me' ears like drums through a battle field.  
"I'm gonna get goin' I'm kinda tired." I lied as I stood up and I felt George's eyes following me with an intense concern. I rushed out of the bar as the words kept ringing, each time getting louder and by the time I made it outside I rested me' head against the wall as far away from the door as possible. I wanted te' keeping walking, but me' crushing loneliness swallowed me with out remorse.  
"Paul, are ye' alright? I saw ye' run out of the bar..." A woman's voice came from in front of me and as I looked up I saw Miranda kneeling before me. I opened me' mouth te' speak but nothing came out and I couldn't think straight as I focused all me' energy into pushing back the tears. Then another voice came from the door of the bar, and I knew the sound all te' well.  
"Paul?" The scottish accent was heavy and a little out of place in the sea of irishmen and women. George came over and knelt by me' side as I noticed Keith came out and joined us. I was so embaressed te' be breaking down like this and over nothing. Yes I was alone, but it was all by choice because I was still dreaming that maybe one day I could have the one thing I knew I wouldn't ever have. George turned on his heels and sat next te' me on the wall as both Miranda and Keith seemed te' back up.  
"Hey, why don't we go get ye' a wee bit o f coffee te' wash down all the booze?" Miranda asked Keith and he nodded as he followed her away with a glint of hope in his eye. "By the way I'm Miranda." ,and just like that they slowly got smaller and then were gone. "I'm sorry." I whispered and I rested me' head on me' knees.  
"I'm fine ,but are ye' okay?"  
"I'm just lonely is all, wondering if I'll ever be loved." Then I felt his warm hand around me' shoulders pulling me a bit closer. The action was very unusal for George, but I could tell he didn't relly care and he was only trying te' comfrot a friend. I twinged with pain and dispair as the images of them together. Him kissing her, loving her, holding her close. Each image burning deeper into me' mind as I hated me'self more and more with each second the slideshow contuined.  
"It's gonna be okay, one day ye' will have her, and ye' will be able te' love her far more then he ever could." His words were true and sincere but totaly unhelpful in every way. I heard the bar door open and people stepped out as the music and laughter tried te' reach us, but fell flat. This was me' first concert with Celtic Thunder. Why did me' mind pick today te' annoy the crap out of me?  
"I promise one day she will love ye'."  
"It's not her I want..." I said as I stood up and was about te' walk away hoping that he wouldn't catch what I said. As I rested on me' feet I felt him also raise te' his feet and grab me' wrist.  
"Paul, are ye..." He ended his question as I unwillingly met his eyes. He knew the answer and just like that, all me' problems made sense te' him. A light mist began te' descend onto the world, and so started a conversation in the rain that would changed everything I had ever thought real and possible.


	2. Part 2

_**(Dear Readers, it has come to my attention that there are two writers in the midst of my reviews that deserve to be checked out by anyone who reads my story. So after you are done reading this chapter I want you to go look up irishbrat4ever and hookedonwords because they are amazing writers who write about Damian and Keith even better then I could ever dream of. ;) Love- Sterwolf59)**_

"Yoo Hoo! Paul?" Ryan asked trying te' snap me back into the real world. I blinked and realized I was dry and sitting in a tuxedo shop, why was I thinking of that night now?  
"Sorry, Ryan, so which one are we on?"  
"I'm down ye' just spaced out so I picked one. What's wrong with ye' I expect Damian or Cameron te' space out, but not ye?"  
"I'm sorry. I've just be thinking recently about our first concert. So which tux did you pick?" He rolled his eyes but smiled and answered.  
"I went with the solid black one with the thin lapell collar and the silver shamrock buttons."  
"That one looked good on ye'." I approved as we slowly made our way te' the front of the store with the tux covered in a plastic bag on Ryan's arm, the one I choose for me'self was on the front counter waiting for me. As we approached the front we saw Keith waiting for us also.  
"Hey, whatcha doing here?" I asked as I picked up me' tux and laid on me' arm.  
"I actualy came te' get ye'both, George wanted te' throw a bachelor party for both Ryan and Neil before the wedding in like four days." Keith said with a smile a few light drops of water resting in his hair and only then did I realize it was raining outside. I lightly groaned at the sight of the drops of water pounding against the ground.  
"He's having the part tonight?" Ryan asked confused as I was.  
"Yeah, he's had Cameron and Damo decdorating all day as Emmett's been stuck running out te' get supplies. I'm not really sure where Neil is, I think that George went te' go get him." Keith nodded as he laughed at some memory neith Ryan nor I had. "So com'on I don't want George yelling at me because ye' made us late." We followed him with smiles and deep inside I felt like running into a car, because of the overflowing painful irony of everything that was happening right now. As Keith drove us through the storm me' mind was taken back te' that night and te' me I could feel George's hand still on me' wrist as he asked.  
"Paul, are ye'..." He knew the answer so I meet his eyes unwillingly. The rain began te' fall first as a light mist and it began te' soak our clothes as we both just stood there. "Your in love with a woman's husband?" Bingo.  
"Yeah." I nodded and then the final pieces were put into place.  
"He won't leave because he has a little girl..." I looked deep into his eyes and, yep, he knew. This was gonna be very awkward.  
"I know it's wrong you don't have te' say it, I already know I'm a sin against nature." I tried te' pull away and slightly prayed a car would hit me but as I tugged away George's grip tighten on me' wrist. I looked back at him and the rain just trickled down his hairless head and down his strong jaw and dropped onto his white button-down he wore at the concert. His next words shocked me even more then anything he had ever done.  
"Have ye' ever asked him what he wanted?" Lightning cracked and flashed across the sky both in the past and in the real world connecting them for half a second then I was just back in Keith's car. Ryan chuckled as he looked back at me from the front seat as Keith hummed along with the radio.  
"Still with us?"  
"Yeah, just a little tired." I gave him a smile and I could tell he could see through it easily so I just turned me' attention back out the window, but Ryan asked Keith a question I had te' hear the answer te'.  
"Keith, can I ask ye' a personal question?"  
"Sure." Keith gave him a skeptical look because we all knew that Ryan only asked deep secret revealing questions.  
"Have ye' and Damo ever..." He thought of a way te' phrase his question just perfectly. "touched each other in a way that ye' wouldn't explain te' anyone in detail?" Ryan smirked as Keith's face became the same shade as fire.  
"I-...umm-we..haven't...done...anything like THAT yet..." Keith trailed off as he focus both of his hands on the stearing his whole body becoming rigid.  
"Okay, just curious because for the past three days ye've been coming out ye'r room in ye'r boxers so I just didn't know. It's totaly cool if ye' take things slow, there is no shame in that." Ryan smiled honestly looking smug about making Keith feel awkward. Since Damo and Keith had been in Dublin they had been staying in Neil and Ryan's surprisingly large apartment they owned, I had just been staying in a hotel because I didn't want te' bother Ryan and Neil and Emmett and Cameron were staying in the room next te' mine so it was nice te' see them every morning, George had offered for me te' stay with him and his family, but I didn't want te' take up un-needed space for them. I chuckled as the car feel silent again Keith cleary didn't want to talk, and it did make me curious: had Keith tried te' get intimite with Damo? The curiousidy though wasn't enough te' stop me from falling back into that day.  
"What else would he say? He would have te' tell me his family was more important and he was sorry... I don't want te' feel that pain." I felt a tear stream down me' face blending in with the rain as I tried te' get away.  
"Paul I-" George tried te' talk but something inside me snapped.  
"Don't!" I felt the tenor part of me' voice acting up. "You can't! It doesn't matter what ye' say ye' have te' stay with ye' wife!" I managed te' break away from his grip and took off. I ran as fast as I could through the rain and I could hear me' name being shouted but as I ran it got quieter and soon I couldn't hear it any more. I knew the town well enough that even blinded by rain and tears I could figure out were I was going. Very few cars were out in this storm, which made where te' go easier te' decide. Soon, I was standing on the bridge I had passed so many times as a youngster something was comfroting about being here, George didn't know this place and there was no way he would come here. The thought of jumping crossed me' mind as I stared below into the shallow river, but what would the point of that be? If I jumped it would make me stop loving the scottish man I had met and over the past few monthes practicing and reharesing for our concert tonight, which was a secsuss, I had fallen deeply in love with him. It was stupid but all his calm collected behavior made me stare in awe and admire him as a man. As far as I knew I was the only gay man in Celtic Thunder so I didn't want te' say anything and make things uncomfrotable between any of us. Keith's car stopped and I opened me' eyes back te' the modern world as I laughed that at the time I was worried about being judged by me' best mates. Especially since all of them turned out te' be gay or bi, but regardless I had never told anyone besdies Geroge me' sexual preference.  
"A bar? Ye' couldn't think of a better place for me' bacholer party?" Ryan asked chuckling at the irony as he got out of the car.  
"Just wait till ye' see the inside, it makes up for the location." Keith laughed as he did see the irony and I couldn't even try te' hold back me' laughter. The sound of me' own laughter shocked me, I thought I was in te' bad of a mood te' laugh, but then again I had gotten very good at hiding what I was feeling. I followed Keith and Ryan te' the door of the door and as Keith revealed the party iuside I was swept back into the flashback.  
I walked through the doors of the hotel absolutely soaking wet and there he was, George, just standing there waiting for me. I didn't want him to say anything, nothing about us and certainly nothing about what he wanted. He followed me in silence te' the elevator, and through the entire ride he remain silent,but when we got te' the floor where our rooms were he linked his arm through mine and dragged in the opposite direction of me' room. I looked up at him but before I could protest he said:  
"I just have te' show ye' something won't take more then a second." I gave up and savored the second of him being this close te' me, even though I knew each second was wrong. Finally we approached his room he was sharing with Ryan, I had been sharing a room with Keith and Damo was sharing a room with his tutor. As he opened the door I was shocked by the sceen I was greeted with. At first nothing about the scene was unusal ,just Ryan sleeping on his bed, then I noticed he had his arms around someone, someone how was wearing a black dress. Then I noticed the person in Ryan's arms was wearing a kilt and black button-down not a dress, and then I realized NEIL was in RYAN's arms. A smile swept across me' face as I looked upon them, both of them were clearly asleep but still they both had a smile frozen lightly te' their lips as both of Ryan's shirts (his undershirt and button-down) were discarded te' the floor, and Neil's neck was marked up with hickey's and tomorrow they wouldn't be gone. George slowly closed the door as I took in the last of the cute couple.  
"I've known ye' only for a few monthes " George started and I wasn't afriad te' look him in the eyes. ",and yet I know ye' better then people I've known me' entire life. Until this night I've never been te' quite put a word te' what I've been feeling." I smiled and I didn't plan on stopping him right now there was just us. "I've said this so many time but until few hours ago I don't think I ever truely understood what it meant and now I do. It means that the entire world means nothing and nothing will ever mean more then you no matter what will ever happen te' us."  
"What is it?" I asked feigning understanding, because I knew exactly what he was talking about but I needed te' hear him say it.  
"I love ye'." The words left his lips and in only seconds thoose same lips were on mine. Thoose sweet lips were against mine, they were even rougher then I imagined and I loved it. Me' phone rang in me' pocket and I realized I wasn't kissing George I was sitting in a bar that had been converted te' a karoke buffet. I was enjoying the little party that the guys had put together but there was something wrong. Both Neil and George still hadn't showed up. I remember me' phone was ringing and quickly answered it without looking at the caller ID.  
"Hello?" I asked looking around te' see Ryan and Damo competeing in darts with Keith cheering Damo on as Emmet was introducing Cameron te' some of Neil's friends from the band.  
"Paul!" Miranda's voice was frantic. See after that night in the bar she quickly became friends with Keith and I after she had a very brief affair with the surfer boytoy. Also she had a career switch from a lawyer te' a nurse (how she managed te' learn that much I will never know).  
"Miranda what's wrong?" I asked and Keith stopped shouting and looked back at me along with Ryan and Damo.  
"Neil, and George-" The whole seemed te' stop then as every single person in the room fell silent "-they were in a car accident, a drunk driver in a truck ran into them on Neil's side, they are both in ICU."  
"We're on our way." I said, me' breath shaking as I turned te' face Ryan.  
"Hey, Paul? What's up?" Ryan asked as he forced a chuckle.  
"Neil and George were in a car crash with a drunk driver, we need te' get te' the hospitial NOW!" I shouted the last word a little te' loud as I quickly explain everything and then we were all out and in our cars in under half a drove Damo, Ryan and I and as his car sped down the lights of the street washed over us then left in a second then I was sweep back for the last time te' the past.  
The warm sun shined on me' back and I opened me' eyes te' see George with his eyes trained on the cieling as his hands were behind his head. His beautiful bald head.  
"What'cha thinking about?" I asked totaly forget that I we were in the room Keith and I were sharing and any second he could walk in.  
"I want ye' there." He said never taking his eyes off of the spot on the wall.  
"What?"  
"When I tell her. I want ye' there." He looked down at me and something was wrong, everything was wrong, and I totaly snapped and someone else took control of me' body and was shaking with fury.  
"What is wrong with ye'! How could ye' be so selfish! Ye' can't leave ye'r daughter for a guy just after one night!" I shell of me' body jumped out of bed and quickly pulled on me' discarded boxers and pants.  
"So you'll let me fuck ye', but I'm not allowed te' be with ye'?" George leaned up on the bed with an expression of confusion and anger.  
"It was a mistake and it meant nothing! Now get out!" I threw his clothes at him and I felt the face that was 'mine' crawl into a look of disgust.  
"A mistake?" His voice was nothing more then a whisper as he looked more hurt then a dog getting hit by a truck. He quickly got dressed and quiuetly disapeared out of the room without any sign of anger or aggression. The second he closed the door I felt me' knees give out, and I was laying on the ground with the worst feeling destorying everything inside of me. Why did I say all that? Did I really mean any of it? I thought back through that magical night filled with passion that would make a poet cry, and I realized that out of all that I did say there was one thing I never managed te' fit in.  
"I love ye' te'." I whispered out so low I bearly heard it in me' own ears but I knew I meant every word more then I wanted te' live, and slowly I broke down and cried into the carpet wishing he would come back, but I knew he never would. I forced me'self away from the memory and quickly skimmed through the following years, George and I never told anyone about what happened but we did advoid eachother as much as possible and then came the day Ryan and Neil confessed that they were together in front of everyone the next fall after I saw their 'secret' snuggle session. I was sitting across from Damo on our bus just chatting the normal evening away. The night was a little cold so Damo and Keith were enjoying cups of hot choclate while I snuggled in a blanket. George was sitting on the couch next te' Keith reading a book, very content with him, and I was trying not te' stare at him. We could hear Ryan and Neil talking outside but their voices were te' low te' understand them but they were loud enough te' be heard. Finally they both came into the bus and both took a deep breath before linking hands and Ryan cleared his throat.  
"Hey guys, I have something te' say..." He took a second as Keith, George, and I looked up at them while Damo kept his gaze on the wall behind me, he wasn't really paying attention te' anyone. "Neil's me' boyfriend." The tenseness of the situation would have stayed but Damo choked on his drink and sprayed me with the back wash. The silence then only lasted one second before everysingle one of us began laughing so hard a passerby would think we were insane.  
"Ye' guys don't need te' be so tense. We all except ye' guys,and it's not like we're ye'r parents we have no right te' judge ye'r guys relationship." I kept laughing as I nodded in agreeement with George as I got up and went around the corner into the small bathroom. Keith and Damo gave their different lines of acceptance as I was about te' reach for a towel te' clean me'self off then the towel was gone in a second. I turned te' see George with the towel in his hands, and before I could ask for it he gently began wipping off me' face. The moment was so sweet and tender and for one second I thought maybe we could be together then as I looked over at his hand I realized that his wedding band was still on his finger and then I felt me' heart freeze.  
"I can do it, George." The mysterious person who was talking for me said his name with a layer of poison.  
"Paul, I-" He started but I stopped him.  
"Go!" I growled and he disapeared silently with a rejected look on his face. That was the last time he ever tried te' say anything te' me that wasn't work related, and now he was in the hospitial and could possibly already be dead. I opened me' eyes from the last memory and knew we were almost te' the hospitial, almost te' Neil, and almost te' George.


	3. Part 3

_**(So, this is the last part of "A conversation in the rain" from Paul's point of view and you will find out if George and Paul will ever be able to find each other...maybe Paul was too late, and what about Neil? Is he gonna be okay? Or will Ryan lose his entire world?)**_

The world stopped dead in it's tracks as the moniter made a single buzzing sound that meant the patient was flat-lining. This isn't right, nobody was alowed te' die, not here and none of us deserved this, not a single one of us deserved this. The room fell into a silence that was evil and killing finally I managed te' scream.  
-Several hours earlier- I hated hospitials. They were te' white and clean and smelled of death and poorly cooked food. When Damo went into the hospitial for a head injury I rushed te' him immediatly, but I hated every second I had te' spend in the damn death house. Ryan was a bit faster then any of us te' reach the receptionist in the lobby ,but luckily before he could open his mouth te' speak Miranda found us.  
"Guys, this way." She lead us down te' an elevator and Ryan seemed instantly at her side.  
"How are they? Is Neil okay?" He was talking faster then humanly possible and I only understood a few of his questions.  
"Okay, guys look-" She lead us into an elevator and pressed a floor level and started explaining "-Neil's side of the car got hit. So half of his body is broken and the other half is badly damaged with a brain bleed that required emergency surgury, he's still in there but dont worry Dr. McClinton." She put her hand on Ryan's shoulder te' make her point clear but he didn't look convinced. "George only broke his right arm, and had shards of glass in his side and above his right eye which we removed safely. His heart stopped once because of an irregular rythem that should go away in the next few days ,but we revived him and he seems te' be keeping stable but try not te' excite him te' much for a while. George is resting under a nurse's watch, but he woke up once so we think he'll be fine." I could feel me release a breath I didn't know I was holding and yet I was really worried about Neil. Keith was in the back of the elevator with his arm around Damian keepin' them close while Emmett was leaning against the side of the elevator with Cameron watching him intently as they held hands sweetly. "When they came in with Neil he was screaming in a lot of pain so we loaded him up with a lot of drugs so after the procedure we will have te' wait a while. The doctor should be almost done though..." She kept her eyes locked on Ryan.  
"Wait, how long have they been here?" Damo asked quietly.  
"I don't know four-five hours. I didn't even know till like ten minutes ago and thats when I called ye'. they said they tried reaching Ryan cell but he didn't answer so they called Neil's parents-" She said looking at Ryan with both sympathy and curiousidy ,and I felt an over flowing amount of guilt.  
"I told Ryan te' shut off his phone when we got te' the tux shop this morning." I confessed and starting feeling an unsettling depression sweep over me.  
"It's not ye'r fault Paul, I should have turned it back on." Ryan looked down at the floor tears starting te' well up in his eyes.  
"It's nobodies fault, we just need te' see them, and make sure their okay. Can we?" Keith spoke up and I looked back at him and I noticed Damo looked down-right terrified under his boyfriend's arm. Poor boy, it hadn't even been a year since he was in the hospitial.  
"We will have te' see, George was underlock down but he should be fine and like I said Neil should be out soon." Miranda let go of Ryan's shoulder and with it a tear fell from his eyes. The elevator dinged and it opened te' reveal the floor where George was and where Neil would be. I gently wrapped an arm around Ryan in a comfroting gesture as Miranda lead us te' George's room. As soon as we approached the small room that held our scottish leader, Miranda pulled Ryan from under me' arm and hugged him tightly. "I promise I will come get ye' the second ye' can see Neil, okay?" "Okay, thank ye' Miranda." Ryan's voice was shaky as another tear ran down his face. He wiped his eyes as she let him go and went off to find more about Neil, and Ryan took a deep breath and we walked into the room.  
"George?" I asked and the scottish man before us opened his eyes.  
"Ye'r all here?" He asked as Ryan and I took opposite sides around him as Keith, Emmett,and Damian stood at the foot of his bed with Cameron just a step behind them, close te' the door.  
"Yeah, all here except for Neil." As I spoke Ryan looked down at the oldest man with a somber frozen stare as he tried not te' cry.  
"Is he still in surgery?" George wasn't happy with the look on any of our faces as we all forced small lines across our faces te' keep us from crying. We all nodded slowly and Keith let his arm off of Damo but the younger irishman grabbed his hand and kept his surfer close.  
"Miranda said he'd be out soon." Keith spoke and I looked at him slowly before turning back te' face the bed.  
"I'm sorry, Ryan I didn't see the truck I was thinking and then Neil was saying something and the next thing I knew-" George started as his eyes seem te' fill with shame.  
"George it isn't ye'r fault I doubt ye' meant te' get hit." Ryan spoke softly as he gently touched George's arm. "He's gonna be fine..he has te' be." Ryan let go and looked down at the floor as another tear welled in his eye and threated te' roll down his cheek. "Yes, he's gonna be fine. He's gonna be fine then ye' gonna get married." Emmett spoke sweetly as he took a step closer te' Ryan. Cameron remained a frozen statue in the back of the room, as he carefully watched his boy friend. Cameron and Emmett's relationship was something that surprised me, because every morning I woke up te' the sound of them arguing next door, but the second they stopped yelling at eachother they were as close as close could be. "Ryan, sit down." George said and Ryan listened as he pulled up a chair and sat next te' our scottish friend. George leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Ryan and pulled him into a tight hug, close contact like that was very unusal for George,but we all understood why he did it.  
"I'm so worried I'm gonna lose him." Ryan said into the arms around him.  
"I know.." George spoke as if a father was speaking te' his son. George always had the role of more of the father figure in Celtic Thunder even when I was with them. Ryan parted away from him, and as he did so Emmett gently rested his hand on Ryan's shoulder and their eyes met with a sense of brotherhood. From what I had heard Emmett and Ryan had become a lot closer in a platonic way after their little mishap when they got drunk. Damian looked back at Cameron, and said something quickly and Cam nodded. Damian quickly whispered into Keith's ear and then the three of them disapeared out of the room as Keith said over his shoulder:  
"Hey, we'll be right back." Ryan looked at them as they left, a look of confusion swept over him, but Emmett just shrugged and Ryan looked back at George. George looked up at me with a simple look of...happiness? Why would he be happy? Escepicaly if I was here? I mean ever since that first concert I bearly ever spoke te' him no matter how much he tried, hell one time I literally walked away from him as he was talking to me. George, Emmett, Ryan, and I all sat in a silence for what seemed te' be forever finaly Miranda came in followed by Keith, Damo, and Cameron.  
"Ryan, Neil's out of surgury. He's not awake yet but ye' can see." Ryan stood up instantly and turned te' face George.  
"I'll come see ye' when he wakes up okay?" George nodded and the small group left the room but right before I could leave te' see near George stopped me.  
"Paul, wait." I didn't really want te' but I listened and slowly turned on me' heels te' face him. "How have ye' been? Ye' haven't talked te' me since ye' been back in Dublin."  
"Fine, I'm just worried about Neil." I kept me' awkward stance by the door. Another silence swallowed us, I didn't know what te' do or say. His large eyes just stared at from across, thoose eyes that bordered on gery and blue in an almost sacred color. What was he looking at? Me' eyes, me' blue lifeless eyes that weren't really sure how te' exsist? Ever since that one night, I hadn't been able te' truely feel anything, sure I'd laugh and talk and even joke and smile but I didn't feel truely happy. Eventualy I just left Celtic Thunder, I knew it wouldn't matter if I had stayed, Damo had grown up and didn't need me te' help himand George...well, I doubted he wanted me there.  
"Ye' look well, solo tour everythin' ye' thought it would be?" George said with no hint of irony or anger.  
"yeah, a pain sometimes but yeah it's good." Another silence. "How's ye'r little girl?" I had te' ask some deeper part of me wanted te' feel the pain of the words 'oh, she's good thanks for asking'.  
"Well...I don't know." Me' eyes shot off of the floor and onto him in a heartbeat confusion drowning out all sense of self-hate. "She won't let me see her."  
"why?"  
"Well, a couple weeks ago ,about the time Damo, Keith, and Emmett went te' see ye', I caught her with someone us, and the next thing I knew she locked me out and threw me' things on the lawn. I've been staying with a close friend ever sense." Suddenly the reason of why George never offered te' house me when I got te' Dublin made sense.  
"George, I'm so sorry." I only managed te' say that before he rested his head in his hands. The logic part of me' brain screamed te' leave him alone while something else deep inside me, something stronger and more heartfelt, told me te' go sit on his bed. The next thing I noticed was that I was sitting next te' him and I had me' arms wrapped around him gently. Suddenly I realized something, something that melted me' heart and I realized how much I missed George, because even when I wasn't speaking te' him I was always watching and always tried te' get closer even though I left me' gaurd up.  
"Do ye' know why I wanted te' tell me' wife about us?" George's voice was oddly strong as I could feel him tighten his grip around me but without shaking.  
"No." I responded simply.  
"It was because I loved you."  
"How can ye' say that though? It was just one night." I didn't let go and I didn't lean back te' look at his eyes, I was just listening as the cold,dark, and evil Paul (Who I am going te' re-name Swanky Man) fought me for control.  
"Shouldn't that tell ye' something." He leaned back and I reclutantly looked into this grey-blue eyes with a deep longing as Swanky Man screamed at me te' make George stop talking. "It only took me one night te' figure out I was in love with ye' and less then ten minutes te' decide that I should leave me wife."  
'He's wrong. Thats not love thats just lust, get away from him before ye' ruin his life' Swanky Man screamed as he mentaly tried te' move me.  
"But George-" I started te' say something but he cut me off.  
"No listen te' me Paul. I'm not gonna tried te' persaude ye' te' love me again but ye' deserve te' know that I do love ye'. Even after all these years I still love ye'more then I could have ever loved that woman, and I would have left her in a heartbeat for ye'." George's warm love arrows of declaration pierced Swanky Man and sent him back deep down into the very hells of me' mind and I had total control of me'self. Silence rang and I let it sit a second before saying.  
"Ye' know this is crazy, right?"  
"Really? It's not much crazier then two old pen-pals falling in love." The image of Cameron and Emmett flashed in me' head and he did have a point. "Or what about Ryan? Before that first concert none of us could have ever guessed that he would end up getting married te' a man, and look he's more happier with Neil then ever." The logic George was pointing out had Swanky Man rolling on the ground in pain.  
"I-" George wanted te' make sure he finished his point before I started talking.  
"And what about Damian and Keith? For years Keith was a train wreck and needed something good and finally god above showed him the grown up man before him named Damian."  
"You really think god meant for any of them te' be together." Swanky Man managed te' control me for one last comment and God just smiled and clamly explained.  
"Of course I do." He was so sure, how was he so sure? "God gave man kind three gifts. His son, free will, and the power of love. Right?"  
"Yeah.." I was slow in me' response because I didn't know what he was getting at.  
"Well, I doubt a god given gift is wrong, do ye'? why is it wrong te' exercise this free-will and love in a different way? I mean as long as ye' believe in god, right?"  
"I guess but it's kinda different." I said with a heavy heart as I realized I was in total controll and Swanky Man had no chance of taking over.  
"No it isn't! In the bible it says that no man is greater then another. So te' say it's wrong for one man te' love another in a romantic way means that, that man's ability te' love is wrong or inadequate means that, that man is inadequate compared te' a straight man which, I would like te' point out, goes against the bible itself. So I can almost guarantee that god puts just as many gay couples together as he does straight couples." George eyes held a sexy kind of fire that made you have te' admire and it re-started a fire in me' heart for him that I forgot. Maybe he was right, was our love really that crazy compared te' Emmett's and Cameron's or Damo and Keith? No.  
"Ye' did it." I smiled at him as the truth of what I meant evaded him.  
"What?" He keep his smile but his eye brows furrowed a little.  
"Ye' vanquished Swanky Man." I felt like a four-year old as the words went into George's beautiful bald head, and his loud laugh filled the room with an intoxicating sound.  
"What?" He asked as a warm smile crossed me' lips and I realized how happy I truely was.  
"Swanky Man." I said very matter-of-fact. "Is me' evil side who has been controlling Paul for years." I felt a childish smile replace me' serious one.  
"Well, I've been wanting me' Paul back since he left." George smiled and thoose big lips beckoned me and I realized there was no longer a little wedding band stopping me. To make this thought become real te' me I looked for his left hand. I think he understood what I was doing, because once I started searching he held his hand up in a model's manner. I smiled larger as I gently took his hand in both of mine and turned the firm, callous hand over and over expecting for it just te' appear. He chuckled at me with a sweet smile then I gave in. His lips were warm and formed easily te' mine, it was a sensation I had forgot about and the feeling of excitement shot all therw me' body and I realized I felt younger then I really was. I felt his hands slip away from mine and tangle itself in me' hair as his tongue pushed into me' mouth and dominated me quickly and in a loving manner I enjoyed, that reminded of a night a long time ago that follow me' favorite conversation in the rain I ever had. We parted and he looked up at me and finally I knew he was mine and no other person in the world would take this man away from me. He smiled widely then the worst happened, the world stopped dead in it's tracks as the moniter made a single buzzing sound that meant the patient was flat-lining. This isn't right, nobody was alowed te' die, not here and none of us deserved this, not a single one of us deserved this. The room fell into a silence that was evil and killing finally I managed te' scream as George's eyes rolled back into his head and out then dropped te' the bed.  
"MIRANDA! NURSE! SOMEBODY HELP!"

_**(Yes, that is seriously where I'm ending it. I swear all this comes from a place of caring. **snickers** so I will hopefully get a review from all of you and I will see you in the next installment if the 'I didn't know' saga: 'Son of Harkin'. I hope you have a better week irishbrat4ever -Love, Sterwolf59)**_


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